Confession: I have control issues. Not all around, just in certain areas. But that part doesn’t really matter, does it?
One of the biggest areas I feel those “issues” in my life is in my work at the church. I try to control and plan everything so that nothing is left to chance, but what I really do is just try to do it my way and then see things not work out like I’d like. See, I struggle sometimes with being “qualified” enough to serve in the ministry. I know that sounds crazy, especially when you look at that band of misfits Jesus brought together to be His chosen 12. But I know my shortcomings, I know my past. And so does Satan. So he uses it all to make me insecure. Then I feel like I have to be in control to be “best”.
Something that I’ve come to realize is that, while I think I’m doing my “best”, I’m really just doing what I think is the next best idea to move the ministry forward. The reason I say “best” that way is that I’m not stopping a lot of the time to ask God what His best is. Lately I’ve come to recognize that about myself and have tried to approach the challenges/obstacles/every day with God’s perspective as best I can. And I’ve seen really positive results. But inside my head, I still wrestle with the control.
While at C3 2011 one of the speakers, Judah Smith, said something that spoke so deeply to my control issues: “Give your best today, and I’ll better your best tomorrow.” He said it was something God spoke to him at a time when he was struggling a bit with the how’s of his ministry. The irony is that Judah Smith wasn’t speaking to control issues when he delivered his message. But that’s where it hit me. Square in my control issues.
It actually allowed me to release my “control” over the ministry things (and some other areas as well) and just trust that if I seek God and give my best, He’ll always come through and walk me to that next place. I don’t have to know what the next step is. I don’t have to know where to go next. I don’t have to know where my God-given vision will take me. I just have to trust that as long as I give my best, God will continue to better my best.
It’s amazing the weight that lifts off of my shoulders at that thought. I don’t have to be in control. God is. And as long as I allow that, my best will be better tomorrow than it was today. Not because it’s my best, but because it’s God’s best. So, give your best today, and allow God to better your best tomorrow!