Ok, let’s clear one thing up right off the bat. Y’all know a lot of my writing comes from songs that inspire my heart. This is one of those writings. But this one is not inspired by a recently popular country western booty call song. (Some of you have no idea what I’m talking about and some of you are laughing right now.)
This song is one that I heard for the first time just shortly before a friend’s son passed away. I heard it, but hadn’t really listened to it. Then, at a heart-wrenching memorial service for my friend’s 22-year-old son, I really listened to it. The song, Need You Now (How Many Times) by Plumb, speaks to a place that all of us have been. A lost place, a lonely place, a desolate place, a hopeless place, a desperate place. An empty place. A place of struggle. Not the kind that a quick Sunday worship service brings victory over. The kind that tears at your heart and mind on a daily basis. The kind that makes you feel like all you have strength left to do is breathe.
It’s a place all of us have been…or will be. ALL OF US.
Maybe for you it’s a life controlling addiction. You’ve gone to groups, you’ve changed friends, jobs, surroundings, you’ve started going to church. You beg God to take this addiction from you, but, no matter how hard you fight, you can’t break free of the bondage.
Maybe it’s financial. You’re drowning in debt, but for every payment you make, another handful of bills comes in. You’re working, you’re cutting corners, you’re selling everything that isn’t nailed down. And you’d settle for treading water right now instead of drowning.
Maybe it’s relational. You’re in a relationship with someone (partner, parent, friend…whatever) who drains every bit of strength and courage in you. You’re abused (physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually) and convinced that no one would believe you. Or you’ve been convinced that if people knew, they’d treat you like your broken, damaged, guilty.
Maybe you’ve lost someone. Not in a peaceful, they’re-in-a-better-place-now way. In a heart wrecking, life-turned-upside-down way. There’s no sense, no meaning that you can see. There are days that breathing is all you have strength for.
Maybe depression is your struggle. Some days you can pull it together enough to get through you day. Others you question whether you even want to get through your day.
Maybe your dream has died. Everything your heart and life has been invested in has been ripped right out from under you. You’re questioning your purpose, your plan, your direction. You’re not just a little off the path you thought life was on, you’re on a total different map all together now.
Maybe your struggle is with self-image. You’ve lost sight of the beauty within. You used to just diet a little, exercise a little. But now you’re not eating, or purging when you do. Every time you look in the mirror you’re more disenchanted by what you see.
The list could go on and on. The things that cause us to feel desperate, alone are countless. If you haven’t already, and especially if you feel like I’m talking to you right now, go back up to that second paragraph and click the link to the song. And listen. Really listen.
{I’m seriously pausing here to give you a chance to listen. You have to.}
God is there, right there, with you. You’re likely not going to win this battle today. But don’t focus on that. Focus on today, this moment. He’s there. He sees you. And His heart’s desire is to take your hand and lead you.
Do you have someone you can talk to? Who can pray with you? Find someone. Here’s the thing. You’re afraid that if people (even just one person) knew your struggle, that you’d be judged, cast aside. And the truth is, there are people in the church (who have their own sets of struggles that don’t allow them to see like Jesus) who will do those things. But there are countless more who will see you through Jesus eyes and love you through your struggle. Pray with you, cry with you, celebrate with you.
Find that person or that small group of people. Today. God knows you need Him. And He knows you can’t do it alone. And right now, He’s preparing someone’s heart for you. Just for you.
BethBates.Life 
Sometimes church leadership tells you not to share. That makes for a very lonely road. Do you go against their guidance? What are your options at that point?
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Here’s my take on it. I’m assuming what you mean is church leadership making a blanket “don’t talk about this” statement. If you’re at a church that has a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on real life issues, it may be time for a new church. If the church is living out its missional calling, then it should be a refuge, a safe haven for all who are hurting. I think the key is to find a small handful of people who you believe you can trust with your pain and share within that circle. The truth is, not everyone is ready or capable of being in that circle. But the church HAS to be a safe place for all of us!
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