11 Years

11 years ago today my world changed forever.  It’s the day I welcomed my son, my first-born into this world.  All at once I learned the depth of a love that only a parent can truly comprehend.

But truthfully, the day I found out a precious life was growing inside of me, the path of my life changed in the best way possible.  Honestly, I didn’t just change paths, I changed maps!  For most of my life to that point I had lived with me in mind.  My life was about me.  And every decision I made in my life was about me.

Then suddenly it wasn’t about me at all.  And I didn’t want it to be.  I wanted it to be all about him.  All about what would be best for him…even it was a harder road for me.

Those years that it was just him and me were some of the most treasured years of my life.  My unborn son taught me the depth of God’s love for me.  Through the trials of my pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding it, I found Jesus.  Really found Him.  Not just knew-Him-enough-to-get-to-heaven.  Really found Him.  My faith became mine…based on my experiences with my very real and present God.

This boy has grown me and stretched me.  And made me a better person.  I wonder sometimes if he learns more from me or if it’s actually me learning more from him.  His heart, his outlook, his excitement for EVERYTHING (and I really mean EVERYTHING, people) cause me to rethink my perspective almost daily.

He has never met a stranger.  But he doesn’t just talk to everyone, he genuinely takes an interest in everyone he meets.  He genuinely wants to leave a mark in some way in every life he touches.  He loves everyone.  And while sometimes that causes my mom-heart to want to wrap him and protect him from the world, this is one of the things I love most about him.  He sees good in everyone.  EVERYONE.  Maybe good isn’t the right word.  He sees a chance for redemption in everyone.

He’s fearless.  Not just in adventurous things, but in his faith.  I treasure that about him.

I look over these past 11 years and my heart swells with pride in who this young man is and who he is becoming.  I also secretly worry that I’m going to break him or ruin him.  I’m so incredibly imperfect as a mother.  And he is such a special life to be trusted with.

Thank you, son, for making me a mom.  You will never fully understand what a treasure you are to me.  I love you more than you’ll ever know…even more than coffee.  Happy 11th!