When my whiny and ungrateful meets God’s grace

Earlier this week I was having one of those days.  It wasn’t a bad day overall.  But I was frustrated and overwhelmed.  Looking back, it was silly really.  I was frustrated and overwhelmed with baby shower planning.  BABY.SHOWER.PLANNING!  You know, one of those life altering events? (Yes, I’m making fun of myself here.)

The reality of a really busy weekend was setting in and what had been a good day, turned in to a pretty whiny and ungrateful attitude.  My frustration grew.  The feeling of being overwhelmed grew.  My brain couldn’t process how I would get it all done.  I whined and complained to myself.  I grumbled and muttered.  To myself.  And I let my mood be overtaken by the negative.

As I gathered up what I needed to head out the door to run some errands and buy the last of what I needed to decorate for the baby shower, I got a text.  A friend who thought she would be out of town for the baby shower was going to be in town after all.  And wanted to know what she could do to help me.  (It’s worth it to note that all of my whining was literally done to myself.  No social media, no frustrated texts or phone calls.  Just out loud, to myself, alone in my house.)   Without hesitation I let her know that I could really use help decorating for the shower.  And without hesitation, she said she would do it.

As I got in the car I started to get a little teary eyed.  God saw my frustration and met me there.  And even brought a friend.

I ran my errands and headed to the party supply store to get what I needed for decorations and other fun stuff for the shower.  I knew exactly what I needed and didn’t have much time to spare in the store since it was almost time to pick up the kids.  I grabbed it all and headed to the register.  As the sweet girl at the counter rang up my order she asked me if I had received this week’s coupons by email.  I told her I did, but hadn’t yet looked at them (translates to, “I deleted without even opening.”).  She said if I spent a certain amount I’d get a 30% discount.  I was in a hurry.  I didn’t want to try to find things to buy to meet the purchase amount.  But I asked.  “How much more do I need to spend to get there?” I was under $2 away from the magic number.  At the checkout, there were some really cute hair ties that I knew Addi would like that would also put me over the magic number.

I’m not good at quick (ok, really ANY) math, so I didn’t know how much my total would drop.  I ended up with over $20 off of my purchase.  Because the girl at the register gave me the coupon.  That I deleted at home.

I got in the car to leave and started to cry.  It hit me like a punch in the gut.  God met me where I was.  Twice.  He knew what I needed.  And met me there.  Twice.  But here’s where the punch in the gut comes in.

Did you notice before my mention several times of whining to myself, complaining to myself, grumbling to myself, muttering to myself.  Never once did I stop and talk to my Father about it.  Never once did I ask for help.  Never once did I even acknowledge that He could maybe help me out.

But He did.

He looked past my bad attitude, my complaining, my whining and lavishly poured out His grace.  He met me where I was and I didn’t even ask!  I didn’t even ask.  That was significant to me.

So often, we pray and see Him answer in some way.  So often, we call on His name and we see mountains move.  But this time I didn’t call on Him.  But that didn’t matter to Him.  I am His child and He wants good things for me.  And sees past my ugly and past my messy to give me those good things.  Even when I don’t ask.  Even when I don’t really deserve it.

It was a good parenting lesson for me.  Sometimes my kids whine and complain and grumble.  And my reaction isn’t exactly grace filled.  Ouch.

God, thank you for your grace.  Your grace that extends to me when I don’t even have sense enough to involve You in my circumstance.  And thank you for the timely reminder that my kids deserve that same grace from me.  Help me to be ready to extend grace lavishly, just as You’ve done with me.