Rearview

I struggled with even deciding to write a year end/new year blog. I don’t have a lot of positive feelings about 2017. My most positive thought about 2017? Thank you, Jesus, that it’s over!

We rang in 2017 leaving Urgent Care with Addison. And that was just about how the year went. Hard things. Unexpected things. Loss. Change. Struggle. Heartbreak. Lessons. There were times that felt like not even God was still present. Times that felt like the most heartbroken prayers fell on completely deaf ears.

And then there were moments. Moments sprinkled in during the hardest times. Moments that became life preservers. If I’m being totally real, they aren’t moments that erased the hard things. Or that even outweighed the hard things. But they made the hard things survivable. A tear filled lunch on a cold, rainy day at Chick-Fil-A with a dear friend. New opportunities to serve that spoke life to my weary soul. New friends, each with a unique gift in their friendship. Reconnecting with old friends. Watching my kids have God moments. Growth, even though it was painful.

Moments that served as reminders that even in the hard places, God still works. Moments of reminder that my plans aren’t always what God has planned. And even though what God has planned might hurt, might just plain suck for a time, it’s still better than my plans. Moments when the great depths of my flawed self were seen by friends, who didn’t even bat an eye. Just loved me (and probably were mentally patting me on the head, thinking bless her crazy heart).

Putting 2017 in the rearview is not something I’m sad about. There’s still plenty I don’t understand, plenty I don’t like. But as I look in that rearview, I’m eternally grateful that God gave me the moments. I’m eternally grateful that God gave me MY people. I’m eternally grateful that God gave me the grace…even though I’m sure I lacked in that more than once.

So as I head into 2018, I’m choosing to focus on the moments of 2017. And I’ll look harder for the moments in 2018. Looking back, I can see more clearly than ever that moments are there. Not always in great abundance, but always at the right time. Maybe that’s my one word for 2018. Moments.

Happy 2018, y’all. Praying you see the moments this year.